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Maybe the ticketing software on dbacks.com is simply, as the techies say, "down"? Or is this a conscious repudiation of
modernity, heralding homey Western nostalgia previously associated with the distant, increasingly charmless Cactus League? Here's hopin' the Dbacks swap my ol' weathervane fer a shady bullpen pair agin' them Colorado. Or this here right nice saddle for a mess a them thar box seats down Old Pueblo way. Nothing screams western hospitality like old time Arizona - at least until both Afro-American fans are pelted with rotting winter grapefruit at the turnstiles, courtesy of local registered voters.
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Finally, tech savvy fans with spare time between cattle drives may hunt down tickets via electronic telephone.
"Thank you for continuing to hold. Your call is fairly important to us."
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