Cheaper. Younger. Burpier.

Bouyed by the Baby 'Backs amazing 2007 playoff run, the Diamondbacks will infuse their roster with even more youth this season.

"This will allow us to better manage costs long term, while we try to yank another NL West flag out of our ass" General Partner, Cornelius "Ken" Canker, explained.

"Our baseball people are very high on the righthander chugging the chocolate milk. We're told he has 'absurd gas'."

(original photo by David Wallace/The Arizona Republic)