03 December 2008

Biannual Hacks

Prompted by my editor's shameless, once-every-blue-moon schedule, Biannual Hacks is the new, improved (and legally facesaving) installment of This Week's Hacks, a seminal feature of this page that swept the national blogging community off its cyberfeet the way John McCain recently swept through north Philly and Gary, Indiana.

Not going to catch up on five heartpounding months of Diamondback news in one post, but suffice for now that the club acquired Adam Dunn at considerable expense of personnel and treasure, collapsed down the stretch anyway - handing baseball's worst division to a hated rival - then declined Dunn 2009 arbitration, forcing their most (and arguably only) premier position player to freely walk away, without the usual pair of highly prized, compensatory draft picks. This, as best I can tell, because the Diamondbacks were terrified of even the prospect of paying their best player a partial year's salary approaching [gasp!] market value!!!

Local fans sound dislocated and uniformly glum, as gullible hopes of a cutting edge, Moneyball-style dynasty crash all around them. This page, never one to fall prey to the front office Dream Team's hucksterism, isnt nearly so fraught with sudden pessimism. In our eyes, these latest, competitive concessions reflect business as usual, albeit accelerated somewhat by the recession.

Phoenix incurred our first light rail accident, on a practice run three weeks prior to the train's official rollout. The new signals and tracks along Central Ave, meandering between the median and curb of the line's main artery, are distracting enough, without actual trains barreling through on them at 35 MPH. I voted for light rail, and hope it suceeds, but the impact of 100,000 pound boxcars on the most oblivious driving populace of any large American city, promises to be more than metaphorical.

Now that my off brand speakers are functional (after a year or so of brand name deafness), let this post herald a breathtakingly new (and loud) feature at this reactionary and incompetent portal -Song of the Day! We'll kick it off with this deliciously inventive, mid century instrumental from, perhaps, America's sleepiest composer.

It's good to be back, good to be awake. There's lots to talk about.


PAUL said...

There was a Simpsons episode where they installed a monorail. Didn't go well.

Matt said...

Yikes!! Springfield's one of our ten or eleven sister cites!

Jeff said...

It's Springfield, ILLINOIS, despite that stupid contest, which by the way, semi-destroyed the hopes of the entire city to be noticed. Then Obama won the presidency and then I went back there for Thanksgiving. All is well now.

Nice to have you back, Matt.

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