08 December 2008

Rice is In!

After decades of inexplicable denial and whispers of racism, Jim Rice was finally elected to Baseball's Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. In a special election limited to culturally passe side dishes, Rice outpolled a crop of eight hopeful accompaniments:

Jim Rice 76%
Spud Chandler 72%
Del Rice 58%
Sweetbreads Bailey 45%
Charlie Rabe 29%
Hee Seop Choi 14%
Oyster Burns 3%
Cuke Barrows 2%
Kevin Saucier 1%

"It's about time", rejoiced Steve Timke of Sommerville, MA. "At the plate, he was the most feared fixin' of his era. Trust me, back in the 70's, it was all Petrocelli this, Vermicelli that. People wanted nothing to do with Rice. "


Song of the Day


Jeff said...

I wouldn't consider rice simply passe or a side dish. Remember, for many people in the world (Asia especially) it's a staple.

Matt said...

That's the difference between you and me, Sir. My writing's always been against the grain.

Jeff said...

Ha! I get it! Yessir!