16 August 2010

Dbacks Unveil World's Largest Lounge

The Diamondbacks and HKS Architects disclosed plans today to erect the most expansive players' lounge in the history of professional loitering areas. Dubbed The Colossal Players' Lounge at Talking Stick, the $100M compound located near Indian Bend just west of SR101 is expected to open for stretching and bullshitting sometime before the Diamondbacks travel to Taiwan.

Amenities include whirlpools and massage tables, sofas, flat screen TV's and even an on site post office and pharmacy, late add ons suggested by coach and part owner, Matt Williams.

Grass and bushes (pictured, foreground) will be planted just north of the 75,000 sq ft compound. Contingent on any remaining funds, an under - sized "ballpark" is proposed for the southern third of the property. Ordinary people may squat on grass mounds in this auxilliary area, and pay to watch players scratch and spit after exiting their exclusive, state of the art facility to the north.

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