06 December 2010

Towers Deals Montero For Lobster Salad, Deviled Egg

ORLANDO --  In an apparent impulse move already drawing criticism, GM Kevin Towers swapped catcher Miguel Montero for a traditional upscale lunch at Disney's Dolphin Hotel.

"We still need a first baseman," cautioned Towers, "but I saw something I like - and acquired it. My appetite for old standbys is no secret at this point. "

Towers was quick to add that his lobster originated in the cold waters off Maine, and possesses better character than Pacific varieties or fish products often sold as imitation "lobster":

There's really no comparison. As soon as Jerry [DiPoto] saw "Maine" on the menu, negotiations took off in earnest. First with the restaurant. Eventually, with the resort manager himself. We feel we got best in class return at a fair value. Plus, the deviled egg.
Montero, who hit .266 this summer, becomes property of the Disney Corporation, and is rumored to be an inside candidate for a roustabout position on their popular "Pirates of The Caribbean" attraction.

More from Towers:

Assuming we dont think highly of Miguel would be a misread. He's got size, and with size comes strength. And with strength comes....numbers. Or, there are strength in numbers, is what I meant to say. The bottom line is, this was one helluva salad. Easy on the mayo. Dash of celery salt. Some are gonna say it was an impulse buy, but I feel really good about how my day went.


Russell said...

I don't like this deal. The Swan & Dolphin Hotel really isn't that great and you will genuinely struggle to get anything "upscale" there.

Towers really could have held out for a brunch at the 'Yacht Club Resort". This is yet another sign that we will not be competing next year.

Diamondhacks said...

According to Fangraphs' RLI (Relative Lodging Index), you're absolutely right. Ugh. I like the deal even less now.

One more thing. Before the winter meetings, snakepit ran an audio file where Towers reportedly said, "We aim to compete." But if you turn up the volume and play it back slow, he actually said "We aim to come eat."

So, I blame these unmet expectations on Jim.