Dbacks Roust, Sign Jackknife Jackson

With a growler of gin and promised lodging close to Chase Field, the Arizona Diamondbacks coaxed legendary gamer, Jackknife Jackson, out of a Wyoming boxcar and into an expected rotation slot this spring.

Asked about his 'makeup', Jackson explained,

Them colored fellas from Havana.  I'll make em up real good.

Diamondbacks GM Kevin Towers defended the move:

"Jack's the pro we wanted.  People say you should go after an ace, somebody still in the game. But we needed a strong character guy to come inside or double up in there. Or triple up, when better teams monkey around at my expense.  He'll make his mark on the Dodgers. Hopefully several."

The fabled righthander began his career with the Cleveland Spiders and honed a reputation for "errant boneballs" with the San Diego Padres.  He last pitched for Wilkes Barre in 2007, allowing 33 hits in 47 innings, while walking 32.  He also hit sixteen batters, including four children.

Most recently, Jackson barnstormed the mountain states carnival circuit and county fairs across the west.