This Week's Hacks

Going to the Super Bowl and inaugurating black Presidents is all well and good, but the biggest buzz around town this week has to be D. Baxter's arrest for extreme DUI. Surely our mischievous Top Cat, clocked at 95 on the outer loop in a company car, after smoking pot with a BAC twice the legal limit, wasnt what the Dream Team had in mind when they sought to drive home an aggressive new identity. Really, I have no immediate issue with Baxter's dismissal - this is one messed up cat - although I was stirred and shaken that The Republic chose to treat the anonymous, low wage sot inhabiting the mascot costume as a public figure, open to major metropolitan ridicule usually reserved for his employers.

Speaking of impairment, alleged Patriot Rush Limbaugh bluntly embraced his democratically mandated President, sulking: "I hope he fails". The cocooned drug addict culminated his comedy routine by curtly blaming liberalism for where "we" are today. Liberalism? Heh. Say what you want about Obama's specific policies, but in Limbaugh can there be a more indulged or tortured demagogue who, even in a time of national crises, despises bipartisan pragmatism more than he supposedly loves his country?

My poop on the inaugural address can be found here.

Not sure what to add about our football Cardinals. I guess today's observation is that Edgerrin James runs like a fairy. I know he's old and had 73 yards Sunday, but it's astonishing to consider Edge is 11th All Time in NFL rushing yardage after watching him run nowadays. He prances to avoid contact, even at the expense of yards, and often looks like he's going down intentionally, like a sliding QB at the end of a scramble.

It's no coincidence that on the Cards' two biggest plays of the NFC Championship game - the fourth and one from midfield, and the third and goal screen pass from the Eagles' nine, the ball was given to Tim Hightower each time - with Edge nowhere in sight. The fourth and one sweep could have ended Arizona's remarkable season, but Hightower sidestepped debris and was able to turn the corner. On the touchdown screen, he followed blockers before butting helmets with an Eagle back at the two, barely stumbling into the end zone. Edge doesnt make that play in a million years. Perhaps neither play. Smart coach.

ASU men beat Arizona in Tucson despite a miserable shooting night, clanking wide open threes like a junior high squad. Does that make them a good team, or not so good - the fact they won on the road on a really bad night? The erratic shooting has become a nagging characteristic of this team, as has C Jeff Pendergraph's early foul trouble. Sendek's zone defense is solid, but there's little athletic depth here. The inability of Harden's teammates to convert his glorious feeds has grown into something of a joke in our house. If they shoot well, ASU's capable of beating all but a few tems in the country, but I just dont see them putting a meaningful tournament run together. The shooting is just too sporadic, and they lack redundancy (depth) when things dont go well.

Our condolences to the loved ones of Tommy Jones, an upbeat Director of Player Development for Colangelo's Dbacks, who passed away this week. He was also briefly a first base coach.

Finally, here's my All Time Alphabet Team, spurred on by AZ Snakepit. Twenty five man positional roster, twenty five available letters (all but 'x') - one for each surname. Only the closer can have 50+ career saves. Them's the rules:

C - Yogi Berra
1B - Jimmie Foxx
2B - Napolean Lajoie
SS - Honus Wagner
3B - Mike Schmidt
LF - Rickey Henderson
CF - Willie Mays
RF - Babe Ruth

Reserve C: Joe Torre
Reserve CI: Darrell Evans
Reserve MI: Arky Vaughan
Reserve OF: Top Cat
Reserve OF: Hank Aaron

SP#1 - Walter Johnson
SP#2 - Lefty Grove
SP#3 - Satchel Paige
SP#4 - Cy Young
SP#5 - Sandy Koufax

Loogy: Jesse Orosco
RP#1 - Brendan Donnelly
RP#2 - Jeff Innis
RP#3 - Paul Quantrill
RP#4 - Jeff Zimmerman
Setup - Jeff Nelson
Closer - Ugueth Urbina

Can you do better? Go on. I dare you.

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Song of the Day - Top Cat