18 August 2009

It's Official: Hinch Effete

Our recently closed poll, asking "Who is the NL West's most effete manager?" revealed the most obvious 'skipper' of all may be the Diamondbacks' AJ Hinch. Indeed, with ten of the dozen ballots cast for our pensive contralto, fans evidently feel Hinch could 'skip' all the way to my lou, my darling.

Colorado's Jim Tracy, the division's in-season managerial pickup who actually wins, garnered the remaining two votes. Joe Torre, Bruce Bochy and Bud Black each failed to tally a single vote.

Which NLW Mgr is the most effete?

AJ Hinch 10

Jim Tracy 2

Joe Torre 0

Bruce Bochy 0

Bud Black 0

After the Dreary Brotherhood of Bruised Phalli (dbbp.org) recently unleashed more sturm und drang on this subject than the Bermuda Triangle spews on thin-skinned vessels, it appears their boy-savior is, indeed, perceived as effete.

Diamondhacks and many outside the SedonaRed cocoon figured as much. We hold this truth to be self-evident: that AJ Hinch doesnt exude much manly charisma. Not for a major league manager. In our eyes, it's a professional shortcoming, not a personal one, a distinction largely lost on dbbp's welcome wagon of repressed homophobes and salad spinners.

Being effete isnt necessarily connected to one's sexual orientation. It just means that, over the course of a season, you wont get a few calls because arbiters fear/respect AJ's opposite more than they fear/respect him. A competitive disadvantage, nothing more.

The good news for Diamondback fans is that Bob Melvin addressed a similar shortcoming, to a degree. Winning in 2007 helped. AJ's a smart and resourceful boy, and may be able to do the same. So, keep the faith, Dbackers. As her man walked out the door, and her season crumbled away, the First Lady in SedonaRed composed herself, looked into the camera and proclaimed "Tomorrow is another day!"

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