Room For Two

After navigating the toughest month of opponents in franchise history, skipper AJ Hinch has predictably been dismissed. Less predictably, he took the General Manager with him. Like Bob Melvin's ouster a year prior, the timing of the firings, relative to the seasonal schedule, leave little doubt as to the short term impetus or curious integrity of the changes.

If you recall, Melvin was axed immediately after surviving a 29 game stretch against almost exclusively .500 or better teams, ushering in Hinch to face the then hapless Nats and Reds at home - and one of the easiest extended stretches in recent memory. Today, Hinch endured a brutal interleague schedule to make way for Kirk Gibson, who will be greeted by 17 of 20 at home against lesser foes. After that, the schedule trends even easier, if that's possible. Sound familiar?

The other parallel involves tangential effects. Melvin's dismissal didnt stir much outrage, at least outside the clubhouse, but did lead directly to the departure of Bryan Price. Today, most everyone is relieved to see Hinch exit, but the absence of Josh Byrnes may prove more strategically problematic.

Byrnes, it is rumored, is the early odds on hero in all this, standing by his man, a la Tammy Wynette. Just kidding. I think it's actually damn dignified and a pretty rare thing to do. To punt a high profile baseball job, because you really believe in someone you think is getting a raw deal.

Just ask Bryan Price.

Longer term, jettisoning AJ Hinch is a good thing, although not as good as never inserting him in the dugout in the first place. The clubhouse vibe, which he was hired to improve, never did, and in fact badly deteriorated. Reportedly, the relationship between Byrnes and Hall had also grown strained. That's what happens when you put a marketing careerist ostensibly in charge of a substantive baseball mind competing under tight fiscal pressures.

The marketing careerist won and I'm not sure that's a good thing for the franchise.

What easily gets lost in all this shifting, is that Melvin and Hinch both had their clubs objectively playing better just before they were dropped. That doesnt mean AJ should've ever been hired, or that Melvin was a great manager. But both teams had settled down, with clearer skies ahead. That contextual performance tends to fall by the wayside, however, when what matters most to the leaders of an organization is manipulating fans and perception. When what's more important than fielding a good team is telling you how good it is. When what trumps winning is manipulating personnel so you can take credit for anticipated bumps a softer schedule affords.

I fear that's what this organization has largely become. It's defining character seems to be perception, rather than substance, driven. Hinch and Byrnes were party to that, at times, and received criticism here. So, I harbor mixed feelings about both of them. But in the end, seeing how their respective if not always respectable tenures played out to the bitter end, it's hard to escape my impression that each young man, in his own way, was probably a little too good for the room.

Crazy Talk

Since the Diamondbacks have "run away from the competition" the last couple of Mays, like crazed thieves in the night, we sanely gravitate towards topics painfully unrelated to a pennant. Like bobbleheads, hot dog prices and AJ Hinch. But as we near the three month diagnostic point of this latest asylum visit, I thought we'd step outside the cell for a bit to stroll around the grounds.

Fat John Broxton blew just his second save - a three out, four run whopper - dropping the Dodgers to 40-35. According to ESPN's RPI, even after a set with the Yankees, LA's played an average schedule to date, and their expected record (pythag RS/RA) is just 38-37. Dont let the bright lights fool you. This is an average team, consistent with "manifold doubts" expressed here prior to Opening Day.

By contrast, the Padres have shocked. They havent shocked me as much as they've shocked most honest observers, because I've always understood they're structurally underrated. But to say I'm merely "surprised" they're four games up on the field, almost halfway in, doesnt do them justice. I'm somewhere between shocked and very surprised.

Here's today's standings:

San Diego 45-30

San Fran 40-34....4.5 back

Los Angeles 40-35...5 back

Colorado 39-36...6 back

Arizona 30-46...15.5 back


...and today's "expected" standings, per RS/RA(pythag):

San Diego 45-30

San Fran 42-32

Colorado 41-34

Los Angeles 38-37

Arizona 31-45


Essentially, the Rockies and Dodgers do a little flip, but everyone else is where they "belong". Despite a disappointing half, Colorado, the most popular preseason favorite, are in fine position to make a run. The Giants are competitive.

Which leaves "the asylum". In 2009, the Dodgers raced away from the entire field and we kinda defined the Dbacks' season, at least early on, in terms of "being behind the Dodgers". It was hard to stomach and took center stage - the way we fell eight back so quickly under Melvin, and eventually 25 back under Hinch. But what got lost or discounted in that perspective was how, for the first time under AJ, we fell so far behind everyone else.

That didnt happen under Melvin and Bryan Price. They finished first in 2007, second in 2008 (a few games back of LA), and they were right with everyone else (except LA) when Bob got fired. That shifted seismically, after Josh, AJ and Mel Stottlemyre Jr shook things up.

To be fair, people often cite Brandon Webb. There's no doubt his absence underlays part of the post-Melvin decline, but I think it's neatly counterbalanced by factors in the other direction. Melvin didnt have Dan Haren in 2007. We played very well then, with Doug Davis and Livan as 2nd and third starters most of that year. The best players on that whole team were Orlando Hudson and Eric Byrnes.

Melvin was also never furnished with a real first baseman, like Adam Laroche. More important than any of that, he was forced to field a talented but largely underaged core (Drew, Upton, CY, Reynolds, Scherzer and occasionally Montero) which everyone expected to naturally improve with age and experience, and which for the most part, has. In summary, Webb's absence hurts alot, but when I hear smart men like valuearb, over at dbbp.org, lay out cases for Melvin's inherited advantages over Hinch, it makes one wonder how often they go out for lunch.

We need to define this more precipitous, post-Melvin competitive failure, by its appropriate terms. Not in terms of Los Angeles, but by how badly we've fallen behind our budgetary and market brethren, loosely speaking. It would be different, if we were battling those guys and the McCourts got it together and simply stomped on the field. Then we could more honorably bitch about Colangelo's deferred salaries and the Byrnes extension.

But we're not even competitive. Not in a seasonal sense, for two seasons now. So that other stuff shouldnt even be in the conversation. The $37M Padres are not merely competing with us. They are systematically kicking our ass, with the likes of David Eckstein, Jon Garland and a bunch of kids nobody's ever heard of. Let's stop pretending that's a Brandon Webb problem. Or a market problem. Or random variation.

There was nothing random about what happened on May 8, 2009, when, relative to the rest of the division, the Diamondbacks stopped being a competitive concern. All the rest is crazy talk.

Front Office 'Movement'

Per Sports Illustrated, Josh Byrnes "is said to be fighting hard for his hand-picked Hinch", presumably from the corporate bowels of Chase Field. At least someone in this front office is pushing, hard, for something. Sounds like a movement to get behind.

Helping Hinch

In what may go down as the worst week in franchise history, both on and off the field, AJ Hinch effected his finest (albeit bitter) moment, for which he deserves praise.

With LA leading 3-2 in the top of the seventh, and runners on second and third, Hinch decided to walk Andre Ethier - to pitch to Manny with the bases loaded instead. Ramirez ultimately laced a bases clearing double, for which Hinch is the object of scathing criticism on azcentral.com and beyond.

But everybody is wrong. AJ Hinch was right. Or at least justified and refreshingly ballsy. God, this outfit needs balls.

Here's some context:

1) Ethier is the best all around hitter in the NL this year, by a variety of measures. His OPS v RHP is approximately 150 pts higher than Manny's similar split.

2) In 3 previous ABs that evening (their first ever meeting), Ethier lined three ropes off Jackson, including an opposite field home run.

3) Jackson had "handled" Ramirez all night, with a groundout, swinging strikeout and a walk. Manny failed to put a single high strike fastball in play, in five tries.

4) Manny was one for ten lifetime vs Jackson (a double) - with four strikeouts.

So, there's plenty to justify the notion Ethier's the more dangerous of the two in that matchup. It doesnt mean Manny isnt still an incredibly dangerous hitter or that Hinch didnt understand that.

Hinch further understood that Ethier's run at first (potential run #6) wasnt terribly important, especially the way his offense has slumped. He was more concerned with the runners on second and third (potential runs 4 and 5) and giving Ed Jackson his best chance to strand them.

So he spat on convention and did what very few managers would do. He dared identify Ethier as a bigger situational threat than Hall of Fame bound Ramirez. Now, the reason he was even in that position is because the Dbacks inexplicably sport not a single left handed reliever. Had there been a lefty available, you go after Ethier. But given the options Hinch had, our manager trainee made a choice steeped in wisdom rather than lore.

And his pitcher let him down. By grooving a fastball, on a two strike pitch, at least two feet from where it should've been - in any three of four possible directions. That's not AJ Hinch's fault. He showed some balls by doing the smart thing, pundits be damned.

If Ramirez had lined a 4oo ft out to Chris Young, instead of a 420 foot double, the unconventional maneuver might have inspired a fairly talented but overly sensitive group in desperate need of some confidence. Maybe it's too much to say it had a chance to turn their season around. Then again, maybe not. There's still 127 games to go.

This game isnt like games most of us know. Beyond the beauty and skills and grace, it's often little more than arrogant large men telling each other to fuck off. At least metaphorically. AJ Hinch was telling Manny Ramirez that. And Manny replied in kind. That's competition, and this was a start.

This team needs to tell alot of people to fuck off. Like Dallas Braden told Alex Rodriguez. There needs to be a boiling rage inside you. It doesnt have to surface much, but it has to be there. It's not enough to want to win. Or to like winning. An organization needs key people who stew obsessively over anything or anybody that keeps them from winning. Competitive respect, or the perceived lack of it, has to drive the day. Otherwise, you're overpaid clerks, and I'll only watch clerks play ball so long. Life's too short.

This team needs to pitch inside, below the neck, and when other teams object, they need to pitch inside some more. This team, the youngest positional group in baseball, needs to run with aggression, and some catchers and infielders need to get knocked on their ass. Are you listening, Bo? This team needs to get in a fight. It'll relax them. They're way, way way too tight. Too introspective. Far too concerned with niceties that dont matter.

They need to support teammates on the field because not doing so emboldens your competition. They need to challenge teammates privately, physically if necessary, because the unacceptable "message" isnt getting through via traditional hierarchical channels.

They need to sacrifice bunt. Not because it's a wise quantitative strategy (often it's not), but because it unifies a team over a season, by subordinating individuals to a common goal and to the will of a manager.

This is a team game. Players need to subordinate themselves to something other than decorum. Decorum is for women and diplomats. Dont be so well adjusted. This is a game about men fearing other men. Take your masculine rage and channel it into manifestations of "Fuck You". Your heretofore effete manager just did, in his darkest hour, and is taking major crap. For you.

Help him out. Fight.

Bobby Cox chatters through an entire game. He's been ejected more than anyone in the game's history. He has (or had) a habit of hitting his wife. He's going to the Hall of Fame.

I'm not advocating spousal abuse. But throw your weight around. Be heard. Be men. Fight like Braves. Like hoodlums if it helps you win. Every pitch of every game. Fight, goddammit.

Fight.

Hinch Ditched For Wagner Card

The holy grail of baseball cards, a Honus Wagner T206 owned by Ken Kendrick, will immediately supplant AJ Hinch as skipper, the Diamondbacks announced today. Hinch has been reassigned.

"We knew when we hired AJ that we were pretty out of the box. Believe me, we knew" Kendrick said. "It didnt work out, so this time I decided to keep our search within the box. Specifically, PSA's lucite casing, which protects my extraordinary Wagner card.

I want two things from a manager. First, dont ask questions when I give a directive. And two, be clean cut. I was pleased with AJ's appearance, the lack of facial hair, but one doesnt need a magnifying glass to see the Flying Dutchman is expertly trimmed as well. "

Team President Derrick Hall also issued a statement:

This latest move is exciting for the franchise and the Diamondbacks' nation of highly valued fans. Our most recent year of gross underperformance was a perception issue among our wonderful fans who are still learning the game, and doesnt reflect negatively on AJ or the outstanding leaders who hired him. AJ is a true difference maker, who developed and managed our fabulous core, without a hint of facial hair.

Kendrick added: AJ was a very clear thinker, but nothing matches the clarity and gloss of my Wagner card. It's a PSA 8 for God's sake, and just jumps off the paper. Take a look! It's hypnotic!

The principal owner was asked if a player card managing a major league team might present problems.

"No. Honus commands respect wherever he goes. We'll display him on the manager's stool, in the dugout, where everybody can see him. I'm confident we'll be fine."

Full Schedule Finally Confronts Hinch

Schedules arent always as they appear. Last April, the Dbacks opened with eighteen of 21 at home, but a physically compromised club couldnt win, and Bob Melvin was fired. In retrospect, it was a brutal opening schedule. Twenty three of 27 opponents with winning records (by year end) - and the four games against "losers" were in Milwaukee, who led their division in May and June and finished 80-82.

Nonetheless, my initial reaction is that Arizona's 2010 schedule looks quite tough. Certainly tougher than the pattycake run Josh Byrnes handed Hinch after Melvin's comparative death march. Which intrigues, because a vital thread in the Dbacks' ongoing disinformation campaign is this business about not judging AJ until he's had a full year under his belt - including his own spring training. It's just another organizational conceit; the idea that a non-experienced hire deserves more of a transition honeymoon, when experienced candidates (including Jim Tracy, presumably) were readily available.

At any rate, we're there. This was the spring and this is the full season the Diamondbacks have been pointing towards since last season's debacle. Forget about 2009, they assure us. Chalk it up to bad luck. Watch us be accountable, on defense and with a whirlwind of offseason moves. That was then and this is now.

They're right about one thing. This is now. Ordinarily, I wouldnt take much notice of preseason records, but since Hinch himself insisted that everything suddenly counted this spring, it should probably be noted he went 15-17, sixth among eight NL Cactus squads. Looking forward, they get an 'extra' game against Washington and Atlanta, but in the Central miss one game against Pittsburg and host St Louis for an extra three game set. That would seem a scheduling disadvantage.

The crusher, though, could be interleague:

Yankees (3)
@ Boston (3)
@ Tampa (3)
@ Detroit (3)
Toronto (3)

Add in eighteen games apiece against the Rockies and Dodgers, supplemented with San Fran's power arms, and it's hard not to get the impression we're looking up at the competition more often than not. That's subjective, very liquid and might not be true as the season unfolds. For example, I'm more optimistic about our offense than most and harbor manifold doubts about the Dodgers. But today, with the number and quality of Webb starts huge unknowns, leaving a rotation of Haren, Jackson, Kennedy, Rodrigo Lopez and somebody else... it's really hard not to form that impression.

Ironically, the schedule commences like another cupcake for Hinch, hosting San Diego and Pittsburg. Beyond that, however, it's a whole new ballgame for our manager trainee - perhaps, all over again.

Everything Counts

Spring ball's never been about the score, but as St Patrick's Day approaches, we note the Dbacks have won a single nine inning exhibition. It's worth mentioning, since manager trainee Hinch suddenly declared everything counts a few weeks back - in an apparent effort to inspire associates, sound leaderish and coyly discount his own farcical dugout debut.

By declaring "everything counts" ten months into the job, can we be forgiven for assuming that less than everything counted before then? Indeed, after Cap'n AJ's "mutineers" brooded and bungled away most of last summer, one might assume nothing counted, beyond making the bosses look bad.

Our flailing franchise went to considerable lengths, tangibly and rhetorically, to distance itself from 2009, ditching three starters - Davis, Scherzer & Garland (late last season) - for Edwin Jackson and Ian Kennedy. They acquired Bob Howry, Aaron Heilman and half a new infield (Kelly Johnson, Adam Laroche). Beyond the overarching hypocrisy of dumping Bob Melvin for resisting an unpracticed "build from within" philosophy, the individual moves have a certain integrity.

The team will hit, by Diamondback standards. Not because the players, aside from Upton, are all that great, but because after five years, Ken Kendrick finally "splurged" on a major league first baseman. That, and Josh Byrnes has artfully aggregated an entire starting eight on the cusps of projected individual primes. Well, Upton's too young and LaRoche ( he of three consecutive 122 ops+ campaigns) is thirty, but it's an impressive mix of demonstrably (if sporadically) accomplished hitters, who are twenty six, twenty seven and twenty eight years old.

These guys' careers might not match the career outputs of Dodger or Rockie counterparts, but baseball is contested in distinct seasons, not careers, and LA tentatively starts three men 35 or older. Furcal is 32. Prudence dictates some declines there. Colorado's not so ancient, but Helton is 36 and Hawpe and Barmes will be 31 by June. The Dodgers and Rockies boast more career talent, but Arizona's positional collection is uniquely poised to peak offensively in 2010.

The countervailing dirt, aside from nagging rotational, defensive and managerial concerns, is that B Webb's not progressing as hoped or expected. Piecoro ominously characterized Brandon's mph as "way down", even after eight bullpen sessions, which at the very least translates to missed starts in April. That wont snuff out Arizona's chances in a weak and declining division, but without a minimum of 100 or so quality innings from Webb, the Diamondbacks as currently constructed should yield too many runs to be a formidable squad.

Everything counts.

Jokers

As a rule, Diamondhacks avoids disparaging people's physical features. It's less a moral code than simply the daunting challenge of coming up with zingers sufficiently funny or cruel. We called Jeff Moorad fat once, which seems sporting since he's been fat for a long time. Plus, he can help being fat. If he occasionally refused butter and Baco-bits on all those ballroom potatoes, or walked his damn dog, there'd be no issue.

So, it's somewhat out of character that we run this. Anyway, my wife and I were watching a September game on TV , or trying to, when CEO Derrick Hall hijacked the telecast, reciting something about being "excited". As we understandably glazed over, my wife blurts out this bombshell:

That's the smallest mouth I've ever seen on a man.

Wow. She's right. All these years, pouncing on Derrick's illocution like a crazed raptor - and I never noticed. My obsession with what came out of his mouth blinded me from the real story. His mouth is incredibly small for a man. Or a marmoset, since we've broached the subject. This doesnt impede Mr Hall from yakking up the Dbacks, of course, but raises a question whether the Barnum pushing "All You Can Eat" has bitten off more than he can physically chew. A mini sirloin burger looks to be his match, or perhaps yogurt.

If you think that's 'going too far', contrast Hall's feeble kisser with AJ Hinch's outrageous wraparound. The ostensible skipper's frogyap extends well beyond where a healthy orifice ends, traveling half way 'round his smug Execu-Dome.



















And when he opens that giant clamshell, a poor ump could lose his double chin faster than a rhubarb.



If there's ever a Batman sequel, where they need a Joker, who instead of terrorizing an American city, systematically destroys baseball fans' hopes in another, they know where to find him.

Hinch To Winners: Drop Dead

Today the Diamondbacks purged the only remaining men in their dugout with any successful managerial experience.

Chip Hale, Arizona's third base coach since 2007, had managed Dback affiliates six years prior, including three with Tucson's AAA Sidewinders, where he won the Pacific Coast League (PCL) Manager of the Year award.

Lorenzo Bundy, this year's first base coach, managed fifteen years in Mexico and the minor leagues - most recently with the Dodgers' AAA Las Vegas affiliate. He was twice named Manager of the Year in the Mexican League, and had worked with the Diamondbacks, on and off, for about five seasons. The Philadelphia native will have a tumor surgically removed tomorrow.

The dismissals were arranged by front office favorite Andrew Hinch, who supplanted Bob Melvin, the NL's 2007 Manager of the Year, in May. Hinch's voice cracked as he explained his staff's need for "new voices" in 2010.

In his first coaching assignment at any level, and bouyed by breakout seasons from Justin Upton, Mark Reynolds, Miguel Montero and Dan Haren, the deeply sensitive skipper propelled Arizona to a 58-75 mark (.436), good for last place in the National League West.

See No Evil

Barely two years after ceasing to be a viable ballplayer, Eric Byrnes' eponymous TV show is suddenly going off the air. I dont know about anyone else, but now that I cant watch Byrnsie mumbling with his hat on backwards, sippin' a Starbucks, I'm not sure what to do with my time.

In related news, four months after being a viable major league team, the Diamondbacks arent on TV much either. The past few Saturdays have been radio games, granting visual respite from AJ Hinch's AAA rebuilding exercise and the oily accompaniment of Daron Sutton and Todd Walsh.

The game's not on TV tonight either. Instead, FSN is blasting Frank Caliendo's loud and uneven impressions, another tape of Joe Garagiola's ceremony that dominated Sunday's broadcast, Redheads pre-sell coverage, a never ending Todd Walsh indulgence with ticket broker Danny Zelisko, extended japery between Gracie and....wait a second. Is that Barry Zito? Oh, gosh. My mistake. There is a game being televised tonight. Sort of. Oh, and the game's tied in the seventh. Who knew?

Attendance @ The Lovely Morgan has dropped almost 5000 fans per evening since last year, one of the largest % and numerical drops in the sport, yet curiously the Dbacks' National League ranking remains eleventh (out of sixteen teams) - same as 2008.

Even with light rail and a summer of Phoenicians curtailing out of town vacation travel , this will be the fifth year in a row our team draws more on the road than at home, despite Chase Field's purported "lowest prices in baseball." Colangelo never made such claims, or massaged pricepoints to look better in industry TMR metrics. He just offered higher quality baseball at broadly lower prices, and drew more fans downtown than they did on the road - every single one of his seven years at the helm.

10:30pm -- The Dbackles just dropped tonight's 'contest' to the Giants. The loss puts Arizona four games south of San Diego, with eleven to go. After the game, AJ Hinch called it a night of poor execution and not winning baseball. More accurately, it's been a season of poor execution, with players acquired by JByrnes, developed and managed by Hinch.

Bob Melvin won 90 games and went to the 2007 NLCS with Doug Davis and Livan Hernandez as his #2 and 3, and a bunch of rookies and journeymen in the field. He got fired, presumably, for finishing two games off the pace in 2008, and falling 4.5 back of the wildcard in May of this year. Derrick Hall termed this five months 'gross underperformance'.

In his five months, AJ Hinch has rocketed out of contention faster and farther than anyone imagined, far worse than Melvin ever did with this rough core of players. As the brass defends AJ's hire under these circumstances, making excuses for AJ when they made mincemeat of Melvin, one can hardly escape what unprincipled phonies run our newly entrenched, last place Arizona Diamondbacks.

Poor Second Half Fault of 'Purplish" Bundy

While Diamondback first half troubles were unequivocally due to purple-tongued organizational rogue Bob Melvin, blame for the club's second half spiral lies squarely on purplish first base coach Lo Bundy.





Bundy's inability to relay winning tactics advocated by transplendent skipper AJ Hinch, to players on the field, proved costly in an 8-20 June slide and more recent seven game skid:

• During a June set against the Milwaukee Brewers, Hinch instructed the Spanish-speaking Bundy to tell Felipe Lopez to "take off" from first base and attempt to steal at least one bag in the series, but Bundy inadvertently advised Lopez to "take off" the series, which the second baseman promptly did.




• Last week in Philadelphia, in the seventh inning of an embarrassing rout, a resolute Hinch admonished his staff to "Keep grinding", after which Bundy circulated the dugout, cheerfully inviting players - including toothy rookie Trent Oeltjen - to "keep smiling".
  

Sources confirm the pattern of errant instruction privately infuriated Hinch and General Manager Josh Byrnes, who pride themselves on communication skills so powerful, listeners often laugh and cry when they speak. Rumor has it, Hinch sometimes calls Bundy "my goddam purple genius" under his breath, an apparent slight tied to Bundy's tenure as bench coach of the hapless 2004 squad. And GM Byrnes was recently overheard - by late night cleaning staff - bellowing Bundy's blunders cost his club "at least ten flippin' games...robbing AJ of his rightful legacy" as the game's most promising ".500-ish" skipper.

At presstime, Bundy remains with the club - in Houston - however reports abound that former Dback great Luis Gonzalez may replace Bundy any day now, in the first base coaches box.

It's Official: Hinch Effete

Our recently closed poll, asking "Who is the NL West's most effete manager?" revealed the most obvious 'skipper' of all may be the Diamondbacks' AJ Hinch. Indeed, with ten of the dozen ballots cast for our pensive contralto, fans evidently feel Hinch could 'skip' all the way to my lou, my darling.



Colorado's Jim Tracy, the division's in-season managerial pickup who actually wins, garnered the remaining two votes. Joe Torre, Bruce Bochy and Bud Black each failed to tally a single vote.



Which NLW Mgr is the most effete?


AJ Hinch 10


Jim Tracy 2


Joe Torre 0


Bruce Bochy 0


Bud Black 0


After the Dreary Brotherhood of Bruised Phalli (dbbp.org) recently unleashed more sturm und drang on this subject than the Bermuda Triangle spews on thin-skinned vessels, it appears their boy-savior is, indeed, perceived as effete.

Diamondhacks and many outside the SedonaRed cocoon figured as much. We hold this truth to be self-evident: that AJ Hinch doesnt exude much manly charisma. Not for a major league manager. In our eyes, it's a professional shortcoming, not a personal one, a distinction largely lost on dbbp's welcome wagon of repressed homophobes and salad spinners.

Being effete isnt necessarily connected to one's sexual orientation. It just means that, over the course of a season, you wont get a few calls because arbiters fear/respect AJ's opposite more than they fear/respect him. A competitive disadvantage, nothing more.

The good news for Diamondback fans is that Bob Melvin addressed a similar shortcoming, to a degree. Winning in 2007 helped. AJ's a smart and resourceful boy, and may be able to do the same. So, keep the faith, Dbackers. As her man walked out the door, and her season crumbled away, the First Lady in SedonaRed composed herself, looked into the camera and proclaimed "Tomorrow is another day!"

Fair

Our beloved Dback'les have won just four sets all year against teams currently over .500 - in an excruciating 21 tries. Despite managing less than a third as many games as his determined understudy - and getting fired for his trouble - skipper non grata Melvin quietly put two (or half) of those series wins in the books:





April 20-22 v Colorado (2w, 1L) - Bob Melvin


......... 27-29 v Chi Cubs (2w, 1L) - Bob Melvin


May 19-21 @ Florida (3w, 1L) - AJ Hinch

June - -----------

July 3-5 @ Colorado (2w, 1L) - AJ Hinch

August - --------------


If Hinch "manages" to Beat LA this weekend, it would mark his third series win in fourteen tries, versus clubs with winning records. Recent front office expectations suggest that rate of success entitles Mr Hinch to something beyond his curious and abruptly bestowed title.

Pardon the objectivity, but I was thinking a pink slip. Of course, that'll never happen in the land of SedonaRed. A land where all is fair, except the way people are treated.

Bulletin: Chris Young Not Producing for Hinch/Howell

May 7th, 2009

Bob Melvin: Say Josh, Chris Young is hitting .170 and killing our offense.
Josh Byrnes: Never disparage my core guys, Bob. You've had a whole month to restore CY to who he was - in my dreams. Plus, pending the doctor's report, I charge you with witchcraft against Conor Jackson! You're fired.

... ___ ...

August 10, 2009

AJ Hinch: Mr Byrnes, I think we may, possibly, need every outfielder to hit, like, at least .270 if we're to fully align our situational leadership goals. You know I think the world of Chris....but...well...
Josh Byrnes: 270? Super input. I'll send him to Reno today. Anything else?

AJ Hinch: May I please have some more dudes from Australia?

Hinch's Dbacks Finally Beat Lousy Teams

After getting pummeled by the Reds and Nationals in his first week on the job, then plummeting 18 games below .500 versus a curiously soft schedule, AJ Hinch's burgeoning superstars are finally beating up on bad teams.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. The National League is full of weak sisters, especially this time of year, but there's always an outside chance of losing to them. (Well, unless you're Bob Melvin, who "curiously" battled twenty seven .500 or better clubs in his 29 alloted games. Bob's pair of "gimmies", by the way, were Peavy and Young @ Petco.)

After Melvin struggled against the NL's best with a rash of critical injuries (Webb, Jackson, Drew), Hinch treaded water versus the league's dregs, just as Drew returned from the DL and a diseased CoJack was mercifully replaced by the NL's Rookie of the Month. Yet the Stanford psychology major's abject May-June failure throttled community expectations so low that the possibility of Oklahoma's golden boy completely drenching his diaper and losing 100 (with a roster projected by most to lose in the seventies) seemed uncomfortably plausible.

Fast forward a couple months, when the win-thirsty Dbacks finally drank 12 of 14 milkshakes from the talent-hemorrhaging Pirates, exhibition Padres and dysfunctional Mets, prompting at least one notorious org enabler to boast this is "another nail in the coffin of those who sought to bury AJ Hinch. Hooray for organizational advocacy".

Some sought to bury Hinch, implying the team could never win with a Stanford newbie, but from the beginning, Diamondhacks insisted the 2009 roster not only could win with Hinch (or Melvin), but would win this year - like Josh and his starstruck buddy(pictured, left), we're just surprised it took this long. AJ got up to speed in a couple months, which comes as little surprise for a competent professional. He's smart and experience helps.

I dont come to bury Hinch, neither do I come to praise him. These Diamondbacks are still nine games below .500, despite extraordinary contributions from Dan Haren and Mark Reynolds, and surprising support from Garland, Davis, Montero, Upton and others. This little, late-season roll is hardly a triumph of organizational advocacy, although it does confirm the sqeaky voiced skipper eventually aired out his diaper.

Rather, it's an indictment of Josh Byrnes' aggrandizing midseason leadership overhaul that rattled the clubhouse and led to a month and a half of the sloppiest, ill-managed local baseball since 2004. AJ Hinch was embarrassed nightly, but to his credit, never buried. The Diamondbacks season was, however - interred on the machiavellian contrivance of "organizational advocacy". Three months into the transitional Crash and Byrnes, it turns out Prince Josh and Andrew Jay Advocate wont lose a hundred games, and should finish within ten or fifteen games of most preseason expectations.

As only an organizational advocate could put it, "Hooray!"

Rocky Times

You have to admire the chutzpah of a front office which parts with an established manager in May to give its team a midseason boost. I speak, of course, of the born again Colorado Rockies, who found themselves ten games below .500, hired Jim Tracy, and have scarcely lost since.



The Diamondbacks, by contrast, fell five games below .500 after a mere 17 contests, then fought even up (6-6) against the NL's best for two weeks straight. That sort of "gross underperformance", according to club CEO Derrick Hall, got Bob Melvin fired in favor of favored favorite Andrew Jay Hinch, Esq.



Hinch, the Dream Team's answer to not only jumpstart the men, but "change the nature of the job a little bit" is himself five games below .500 - damning enough on its face (the one Josh Byrnes is falling flat on) - were it not for this reasoned, unseasoned protege's cupcake schedule and comparative roster advantages over Melvin.

Both managers suffered the loss of Brandon Webb, but Melvin also missed his two most reliable hitters from 2008 - Stephen Drew and Conor Jackson. Drew returned from the DL for Hinch, and is starting to rip the ball as expected, and Jackson's mysterious and crippling April has finally been diagnosed and mercifully replaced by the NL's Rookie of the Month. The one unusual challenge Hinch faced - and which Melvin was spared - was the sudden and relatively minor practical absence - but devastating personal loss - of LOOGY Scott Schoeneweis.



Beyond that, the club's alarming recent spike in runs allowed appears at least somewhat managerially related - in that limiting runs (RA) was an immutable strength of Bob Melvin teams. Simply carping at Hinch, however, misses the bigger picture. Without pitching guru Bryan Price, an inadvertent casualty of Josh Byrnes' deflective blame game, this novice skipper now produces more regularly scheduled, prime time situation comedies than Norman Lear.

Eighth inning. Must see TV. Just. You. Watch!

Not Hinch's fault, necessarily. It's on Josh Byrnes, who trashed a decent manager, in hopes of shifting blame from the GM's longstanding failure to meet on field expectations. De rigeur for Byrnes, on his fourth hitting coach since 2006, who's built just one squad since then barely capable of outscoring opponents in baseball's weakest division.


The religious Rockies appear largely above such tawdry political machinations, and not surprisingly, sit above us in the standings as well. They matter of factly replaced their below average manager with an above average one, and like the Diamondbacks, are reaping their just rewards on earth - as it so often is in heaven.