Dbacks Get Down With Whitest Lip Synch Ever

To be fair, there are slightly more people of color in this carefully choreographed Dbacks' come on than you'd find in respected American institutions, like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or First Continental Congress.

But if this reflects organizational makeup, or worse, the way they choose to present themselves to a pluralistic twenty-first century American city, it's little wonder the Diamondbacks dont attract a healthy melting pot of fans, or that Justin Upton and Chris Young look so uncomfortable much of the time.


The FO's constantly chirping about capturing young people. Who? The Young and the Restless from Paradise Valley?  From the looks of this glittery caucasian homage, it appears they've already captured all forty of them.

My Mother, The Plagiarist?

Two women in my life share connections with the late George Steinbrenner, however it should be made clear, for tax purposes, that neither was a shipping magnate, nor contributed to Nixon.

My wife grew up, in and around Columbus, Ohio, and like the Yankee kingpin attended Ohio State. Nothing earthshattering there. He was a grad student a generation before she arrived - and one in five Americans seem to have enrolled in that vaguely fascist institution at one time or another. I guess, the more I reflect on it, my better half can also be a hard charging, perfectionist pain in the ass. So there's that similarity as well.


Parallels between my genteel mother, seventy nine years today, and The Boss are more curious. He attended Williams College in the sparsely populated, extreme northwestern corner of Massachussets. Just a few miles north, over the Vermont border, my mom simultaneously studied at Bennington. He graduated in 1952, she in 53. They were both English majors. The curious part? They each wrote a senior thesis examining figures in Thomas Hardy novels.

Helping Hinch

In what may go down as the worst week in franchise history, both on and off the field, AJ Hinch effected his finest (albeit bitter) moment, for which he deserves praise.

With LA leading 3-2 in the top of the seventh, and runners on second and third, Hinch decided to walk Andre Ethier - to pitch to Manny with the bases loaded instead. Ramirez ultimately laced a bases clearing double, for which Hinch is the object of scathing criticism on azcentral.com and beyond.

But everybody is wrong. AJ Hinch was right. Or at least justified and refreshingly ballsy. God, this outfit needs balls.

Here's some context:

1) Ethier is the best all around hitter in the NL this year, by a variety of measures. His OPS v RHP is approximately 150 pts higher than Manny's similar split.

2) In 3 previous ABs that evening (their first ever meeting), Ethier lined three ropes off Jackson, including an opposite field home run.

3) Jackson had "handled" Ramirez all night, with a groundout, swinging strikeout and a walk. Manny failed to put a single high strike fastball in play, in five tries.

4) Manny was one for ten lifetime vs Jackson (a double) - with four strikeouts.

So, there's plenty to justify the notion Ethier's the more dangerous of the two in that matchup. It doesnt mean Manny isnt still an incredibly dangerous hitter or that Hinch didnt understand that.

Hinch further understood that Ethier's run at first (potential run #6) wasnt terribly important, especially the way his offense has slumped. He was more concerned with the runners on second and third (potential runs 4 and 5) and giving Ed Jackson his best chance to strand them.

So he spat on convention and did what very few managers would do. He dared identify Ethier as a bigger situational threat than Hall of Fame bound Ramirez. Now, the reason he was even in that position is because the Dbacks inexplicably sport not a single left handed reliever. Had there been a lefty available, you go after Ethier. But given the options Hinch had, our manager trainee made a choice steeped in wisdom rather than lore.

And his pitcher let him down. By grooving a fastball, on a two strike pitch, at least two feet from where it should've been - in any three of four possible directions. That's not AJ Hinch's fault. He showed some balls by doing the smart thing, pundits be damned.

If Ramirez had lined a 4oo ft out to Chris Young, instead of a 420 foot double, the unconventional maneuver might have inspired a fairly talented but overly sensitive group in desperate need of some confidence. Maybe it's too much to say it had a chance to turn their season around. Then again, maybe not. There's still 127 games to go.

This game isnt like games most of us know. Beyond the beauty and skills and grace, it's often little more than arrogant large men telling each other to fuck off. At least metaphorically. AJ Hinch was telling Manny Ramirez that. And Manny replied in kind. That's competition, and this was a start.

This team needs to tell alot of people to fuck off. Like Dallas Braden told Alex Rodriguez. There needs to be a boiling rage inside you. It doesnt have to surface much, but it has to be there. It's not enough to want to win. Or to like winning. An organization needs key people who stew obsessively over anything or anybody that keeps them from winning. Competitive respect, or the perceived lack of it, has to drive the day. Otherwise, you're overpaid clerks, and I'll only watch clerks play ball so long. Life's too short.

This team needs to pitch inside, below the neck, and when other teams object, they need to pitch inside some more. This team, the youngest positional group in baseball, needs to run with aggression, and some catchers and infielders need to get knocked on their ass. Are you listening, Bo? This team needs to get in a fight. It'll relax them. They're way, way way too tight. Too introspective. Far too concerned with niceties that dont matter.

They need to support teammates on the field because not doing so emboldens your competition. They need to challenge teammates privately, physically if necessary, because the unacceptable "message" isnt getting through via traditional hierarchical channels.

They need to sacrifice bunt. Not because it's a wise quantitative strategy (often it's not), but because it unifies a team over a season, by subordinating individuals to a common goal and to the will of a manager.

This is a team game. Players need to subordinate themselves to something other than decorum. Decorum is for women and diplomats. Dont be so well adjusted. This is a game about men fearing other men. Take your masculine rage and channel it into manifestations of "Fuck You". Your heretofore effete manager just did, in his darkest hour, and is taking major crap. For you.

Help him out. Fight.

Bobby Cox chatters through an entire game. He's been ejected more than anyone in the game's history. He has (or had) a habit of hitting his wife. He's going to the Hall of Fame.

I'm not advocating spousal abuse. But throw your weight around. Be heard. Be men. Fight like Braves. Like hoodlums if it helps you win. Every pitch of every game. Fight, goddammit.

Fight.

Break Up: The Dodgers

When most thirty year marriages end in court, the hilarity escapes me, but it's almost impossible to read up on the pending divorce of Dodger owners, Frank and Jamie McCourt, while maintaining a straight face. The AP account reports excess you'd expect from one of LA's most notable power couples:

Jamie McCourt's filing states she is seeking reinstatement as the team's CEO as well as access to perks including travel by private jet, stays at five-star resorts and use of the Dodgers owners' suite. She wants $321,000 a month in spousal support if reinstated to her former position. If not, she believes she should be paid nearly $488,000 per month.

Here's the LA lawyers, girding for battle:

There are estate records that list Frank McCourt as the team's sole owner, said Bert Fields, Jamie McCourt's attorney.However, the lawyer who drafted the documents alerted Jamie McCourt to the mistake last year in front of her husband who acknowledged the paperwork should have reflected the co-ownership of the Dodgers, Fields said.

"It was always supposed to 50-50," Fields said. "New documents were drafted, but they were never signed."

Frank McCourt's lawyer, Marshall Grossman, called the account a "fairy tale" and said the marital agreement lists the Dodgers and the adjoining property, including Dodger Stadium, as his client's separate assets and the couple's homes belonged to Jamie McCourt.

"This is the deal Mrs. McCourt wanted and got," Grossman said. "She now wants everything put back as community property. Even a chef knows you can't unscramble the eggs."

Wait, it gets better.

Frank McCourt:

...said he has allowed Jamie McCourt to identify herself as "co-owner" for the "interests of family harmony" but her claim has damaged the Dodger organization.

Wow. That's some family man. Once I offered my wife a club sandwich in the interests of family harmony, but never an actual club! This Frank is some sport.

Jamie McCourt

...claims her husband plotted to boot her from the team's front office as a way to "humiliate and ostracize" her. She said she was excluded from management decisions.

My impression is, if you're categorically "excluded from management decisions", you probably aint the CEO of much. Nevertheless, this is a formidable woman who sees herself as the engine behind Dodger success. From a 2007 issue of Jewish Woman:

Transforming the Dodgers into a family business is nothing new for McCourt. After 15 years with her own law practice, she spent a decade as vice president and general counsel of The McCourt Company, her husband’s real estate development firm. "We have completely different skill sets," she says of working successfully with her husband. "He’s the visionary and I’m the one who actualizes the vision."

This is what's hard to reconcile. If you're genuinely seen - within the organization - as an equal authority (ownership) figure and you've additionally established yourself as the hands on partner who 'actualizes the vision', how can you reasonably be "excluded from management decisions"? Practically speaking, how could that happen? It just doesnt sound to me like Jamie McCourt had much support or allegiance high up in the organization, and if that's true, she wasnt the CEO or co-anything, beyond ceremonial title.

Of potential interest to Dback fans, one of the McCourts' sons was installed as Dodgers' "Director of Marketing" a while back, although I couldnt pinpoint when. One would think this slot would've been right up Derrick Hall's alley, and I note Derrick left the Dodgers shortly after the McCourts arrived, as well as the fact the son has since left the post and returned to "business school". Interesting career path, to say the least, and one has to wonder if this nepotism hastened Hall's departure.

The Show Must Go On

A fantastic weekend is in full swing and the town is abuzz. Tonight Miley Cirus gets serious at jobing.com arena, and the Patrick Swayze film festival muscles into the Valley Art. Fellas wont want to miss Sunday's high rise implosion over at Third and Earll. It'd be a crime to let a few freeway closures deprive you of all this town has to offer.

Speaking of crime (and implosions), the Diamondbacks' exercise their sense of humor this weekend, hosting "Fandemonium", Latin for "You're still here? Seriously?" The club's canned, slutty come-on, to mostly absentee season ticket holders, occurs in the middle of Padre exhibitions, emphatically confirming last place in the NL West.

The Lovely Morgan

Let's start something. Effective today, I'm calling the Dbacks' home park on Jefferson something other than what the latest multimillion dollar naming rights contract expects me to call it.


We're paying customers - and taxpayers. We not only pay the club's day to day bills, but indeed, paid for most of this stadium's construction. Why wouldnt we call the park anything we please?

It seems to me we're little more than lemmings, each time we dutifully ingest the corporate naming convention of an edifice we not only frequent, but actually financed. It's not so much the corporate appellation that bothers me, as it is the relative impermance of these conventions.

The bank or telecom, or whatever, pays for the rights, and that's fair - but passionate, deep rooted connections between a city and its ballteam can be trivialized by such ephemeral, short term business accords. The Diamondbacks are barely a decade old and we're already on our second stadium name. The way financial institutions collapse, merge and reinvent themselves nowadays, a third brand could easily be right around the corner. This seems inappropriate and counterproductive for a sport billing storied intergenerational appeal.

I say enough of that! Let's get behind a name that's fun, respectful of existing contracts, and permanent - reflecting the lasting connection between fans and the team. Here's my pitch:

Chase Bank & JP Morgan merged several years ago. Since Bank One Ballpark was renamed Chase Field, various wits have suggested "The Morg" (short for JP Morgan) as a sardonic snapshot of our venue's atmospherics. Hilarious name, but probably too cynical for diehard fans.

On the tail end of an interminable online flame war touching on this very topic, it came to my attention that a young lady named Morgan, the daughter-in-law of a certifiable Dbacks fan, apparently answers to the unusual but charming appellation, "The Lovely Morgan" - at least within her extended family.

Why not associate our precious park with a virtuous young woman, like they do for ships -or cool intangibles like 'liberty' and 'nature'? A woman with the same name as the bank holding company plastering its logo on the rafters for return on investment?

I have always loved the stadium. The welcoming brick plaza. The uniquely Arizonan rotunda. Inside, the mammoth green trusses, and breathtaking aperture of the roof, where telescoping steel beams evoke a delicate Chinese paper fan. The wide lower concourse circumscribing the entire playing green, beautiful sightlines within, and magical views of desert mountains from the upper deck.

Our ballpark is a beautiful, virtuous thing, like a lady.


















The Lovely Morgan
************
Song of the Day - That's Not My Name (Ting Tings)

Win 2001 Series DVD (Collector's Edition Set) !!

Baseball. Bloggers. Everywhere.

Wanna win a seven DVD boxed set of, like, the greatest fall classic ever? I thought so. A set we charge $69 for that is coveted by eleven or twelve people without jobs? Ok, then. Welcome to how this works.

Since we're all proprietors, it only takes three E-Z steps to make the magic happen:

• First, email me a recent picture of yourself (jpg or bitmp, full length preferred, please no "renderings").

• Second, after your photo's "approved" by The Pros here at DAM (Diamondhacks Advanced Media), look for the confirmation email with travel and other instructions.

• Third, fix yourself up nice, glide by my cube here in lower Manhattan, and go down on my All-Star crank.

That's it! One, two, three strokes. You're in!!

Did I mention it's FREE?

Welcome to My World! Only here on Blogspot!

I know it sounds a little crazy, but it's crazier not to go along with the craziness, right?

Almost forgot. Seems to be a little misunderstanding around here. This site is for absolutely EVERYONE. Not just The Pros. EVERYONE coming out of the woodwork who cant live without baseball 24/7 with bells on. But this special benefit is only open to the ladies. The rest of you bloggers should be tagging. Tagging along to get ahead. You'll want to tag like hell.

So, you wanna **** a baseball writer?

--Matt/DAM

This Week's Hacks

Even the Taliban would have to concede Erin Andrews has her public merits (thanks Jeff!), but this orange sweater straining against her glorious separation probably doesnt help the cause of woman sports reporters much.

Justin Upton is the National League's youngest player for the second consecutive year - and is still a year and a half younger than any other current NL player. He has an outside shot at becoming the second man ever to be his league's youngest for three consecutive seasons. The first was teenager, and eventual Hall of Famer, Mel Ott, from 1926 to 1928.

This isnt as funny as it initially sounds, but this is.

Diamondback stock may be a bit overvalued, with the 16-6 record, but there are, as they say, good fundamentals. Like last year, no NL team hits more sacrifice flies, but now that comes on top of slugging rather than in place of it. Also, second fewest GIDP (AZ 8, league average is 16) and fewest IP by relievers (AZ also led this category in 07). Fourth in SB%, even with an ailing Byrnes; team ranked 2nd last year.

In MLBlog news, Mark sounds desperate trying to get a single Dbacks blogger to review the 2001 World Series DVD set. It's funny for three reasons. One, the giveaway retails for $60 and not one Dback fan at MLBlogs wants to review (and keep!) it for free - not even with that coveted MLB.com byline! Two, it's funny because Arizona is the hottest team in baseball and there are no more Dback MLBloggers left! Three, it's funny because Foundry Communications(who distributes the commemorative DVDs) just found me on blogspot and sent me a pair, gratis, to review as I see fit, without any of Mark's explicit constraints. Oh, and the fourth funny thing is they'll probably get a better written, more persuasive review out of it than Mark ever will.

Finally, the kid just returned from his senior class trip to Catalina Island, which always reminds me of this lesser known Wrigley Field. More photos here.

Have a great weekend, everybody!